Monday, 7 January 2013

How to fix Die Hard 5 and why the Hobbit is a trilogy

A Good Day to Die Hard will be gracing our screens soon, oddly however 20th Century Fox haven't released a classification for the film yet because as they saw last year with The Expendables 2, there will be a huge out cry from fans all over, universally saying that the PG-13 rating for kids, absolutely ruins actions films. Millennium Pictures were quick to assure the fans that decision had been reversed and that the Expendables 2 would be rated R.

Fox however don't have the balls for this and A Good Day To Die Hard just like its ugly predecessor Die Hard 4.0 will be rated PG-13 meaning that our iconic New York cop action hero Jon McClane won't swear nor will he be able to say his catchphrase "Yippee Ki-Yay Motherfucker" without disguising the sound of "FUCK" with a gun shot or explosion. Nor will there be visible impact wounds on anyone who get's shot or beaten to death by John McClane. It's all about the money, this billion dollar empire movie studio can't just give the fans what they want, they have to appeal to the children to, which this franchise was never intended for. Cut the cute shit, cut the porn shot's from the trailer of the woman undressing and give us the New York Cop movie that we all want with blood, foul language and a man with a bad attitude. 

As the Hobbit marches towards a billion dollar gross at the box office it's suddenly clear why Warner Bros want a trilogy out of a 300 page children's book. There cash earning franchises like Batman & Harry Potter have both ended and now they're set to make upwards of $2.5 billion from these 3 movies alone. So who cares about pissing on the source material and making mediocre films with heaps of padding just to fill out the running time? Not to mention forcing the majority of the audience to watch it in 3D at 48 FPS which completely ruins the aesthetic of the film and is most definitely not an appealing factor. Warner Bros are completely set on making sequels and reboots their priority with The Mummy & Van Helsing both being rebooted, 2 sequels to independence day? Men in black 4 and not to mention another iteration of Superman this year.

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